Please read, Jenn..

It's so hard. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get through this weekend. Not so much because it's the time of the week where we would see each other if at all, but because even if we didn't see each other, I could get through the weekend and I can rest my head just knowing you loved me, that we were together; that you were mine.

But it's been several weeks now since we have seen each other, and with every day that passes without you, I lose a little more of myself. I want to see you so bad. How many different ways can I say that you mean everything to me?  I can't live this way, I just fucking can't and I'm scared I am not going to ever recover.

Jenn, please meet with me this weekend. It would mean so much. Can we please just get together for a meal or a walk around the mall or something? I'll come there, we can meet half-way and go somewhere. Something, anything, I don't care where it is. Just please see me. Please see what can be. I know you think you already know and I don't blame you given how long we were together. But I've changed, I swear, I have changed. You know it, you more or less said it yourself a few weeks ago.

 I can be everything you need in a partner. I can be your Prince Charming; who doesn't take everything so seriously, that takes it one day at a time, who's not needy and clingy, who makes you smile and laugh, who doesn't constantly discuss the future, who delivers, but also doesn't promise things that aren't realistic.

I can make you feel safe. I can be decisive and strong. I can plan things for us. I can be nurturing. I share your interests and always have. I can be all this and so much more. I mean it. I have never been more serious in my life. I have changed. I swear it up and down, left to right. I need you to believe me. I can prove it right from the start, Jenn. I know I can. I will if you let me.

Please understand that I would NEVER EVER stop you from doing things for yourself, from crossing things off your bucket list, or anything else you want to do for yourself. I would always encourage you to do so. That should be part of life.

Please think about this. I know you say you have thought about this a lot, but please think about it again. Please think about your own words that you have written to me, even recently. We truly should have given this year more time. 

 I love you beyond words and I really, truly mean it; always have and always will. I don't need you to take care of me. I want to take care of you, and I can. I can prove it if you will just see me. Really think about this. Just give me a little bit of your time so I can show you. You will not regret it. You will not be disappointed. I won't be a bummer, I won't make you uncomfortable, I won't sulk, I won't make unrealistic promises like Bernie Sanders, but I know I have changed, I know what I can do.

 There's no one else I'd rather prove it to than you; the love of my life, the angel who has shown me time and time again that there's more to life than being depressed, that there are so many things to be grateful for, who has shown me how meaningful and wonderful life can be, that there are so many things out there to enjoy and share with someone you love.


Please think about this and talk to me...

"'Cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you."