Just got back from a pretty long bike ride. I went down Airoso, over Crosstown, down Whitmore and stopped by my parent's house for a few minutes. Then when I left, I went down the remainder of Whitmore and took Bayshore back over Crosstown to Prima Vista, and took Prima Vista back to my house. It was a good little bit of exercise. It made me feel good.
But as soon as I got home, I wanted to cry. The relief and exhilaration I was feeling during the bike ride left instantly. My breathing is uneven, and I am desperately holding back tears. It seems no matter what I do, it always comes back to her and how much I miss her. We talked very briefly this morning and fell into radio silence. I'm not blaming her, but still it hurts so much. I wish she could see what I see. I wish so bad she would rethink this; rethink us, even if we had to lay out ground rules that we never applied before, and just try again for the sake of a new year, and a new beginning. How badly I want to wrap my arms around her in a loving embrace and never let go.
Song of the day:
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