Vestige

Woeful thoughts, just fade away

Creeping closer every day

Line's been crossed, I'm now myself

These icy feelings long to melt

Not a vestige left of him

Speak in truth's, not meant to sin

What you see is the real me

Hold this knife and set me free

Empty shells speak of what can be

Ghosts of time still scream at me

True soul inside cries, "let me feel"

Let this life sentence be repealed

These tears that fall are all I see

Invisible, I long to be

I fear tomorrow, I fear this dream

I fear this life and all it means 

These dirty deeds are sure to be what consumes me

I did it all, guilty as sin inside

Please part these clouds, lost alone in the darkness

If doomed to fail, please just let me close these eyes

One more time..

Looking and feeling good today.

I am just a few days shy of 7 months on hormone replacement therapy. I've lost nearly 80 pounds now and I am feeling great about myself. Today I am feeling better than I have on any day since Mother's Day passed. I hope I continue to feel this good. Here are some pictures of my progress thus far.

Mother's Day

There's no one left in my life to send this to

There is no one left to call

And what would I even say?

If I had a mother on this day

And I know I'm a stranger now 

There is really no one left at all

And I know I'm a stranger now

And if I wanted to forget you exist, I can't

And if I wanted to fill this hole, I can't

There is really no one left to call

My mother on this day

It breaks my heart to close this book

It breaks my heart and the life this took

I love you even as I leave

And I know you won't believe