Reincarnate

I am so beat to shit my 15 year old self could kick my ass
I've become so codependent if I took a shit right now I couldn't part with it
What have I become? Watch me suck my thumb
I have become the bile spill that could disgust even a roach!

No more! No more! No more! No nothing!

Hey, old self. Would it be best if I wiped your tears?
Old self! You've become everything I swore off in the beginning.
I want to slap my self to shit! I have so much more to admit!
What if I just let god sit and tell me about all I have done?

No more! No more! No more! No nothing!

Even Charlie holds a better record, if you'd seen what goes on full time you'd puke
I wasn't born, wasn't made to hold a flag in you're parade
I can't believe my kind even exist

If you saw what I see you'd jump
If you saw what I see you'd jump
It's best you all just got back to sleep, forget me

No more! No more! No more! No nothing!

Even Charlie holds a better record, if you'd seen what goes on full time you'd puke
I wasn't born, wasn't made to hold a flag in you're parade
I can't believe my kind even exist

N.N. (I won't dip in chocolate again)

Scratched off enough expenses, put another dent in the checkbook
Run as fast as you can with the gas guzzler idling outside
What's yours was never yours, don't be fooled who they gave it to
The pendulum comes back around again only to remind you

That was chocolate..that was chocolate
Yes, chocolate, who could control it?
That was chocolate..that was chocolate..that was chocolate!

Wake up in the morning to the reality you thought was blessed
It didn't make sense, now it makes sense, only to result in senselessness
Prey to the God that you now believe in that this bliss won't just blow away
The pendulum comes back around again only to remind you

That was chocolate..that was chocolate
Yes, chocolate, who could control it?
That was chocolate..that was chocolate..that was chocolate!

The only things that last forever are the ones you fringe at
That smile you remember was a lie as it ensued a path
That could only bring on rain, who cares for today?

That was chocolate.

The Real Wheelman

Nothing on this earth is pure, all that may rot and decay may already been seen as so
There is no beauty within the rainbow, the sky, the sun or the stars
All life on this planet is racing towards demise, nothing is forever
I'm so sorry that I see it this way

The food you cook and the flowers you pick mean a moments pleasure in the long term race
I see the ugliness in everything and you ought to not hold it against me
I'm so sorry that I see it this way

The absence of all optimism precludes the use of pessimism!

Cathartic Cleansing: 8 Years In Hell And I'm Just About Ready To Leave

Cathartic Cleansing: 8 Years In Hell And I'm Just About Ready To Leave: I've been sitting in my dark and dreary room all day listening to "Narcissistic Cannibal" over and over probably close to 60 times, while co...

8 Years In Hell And I'm Just About Ready To Leave

I've been sitting in my dark and dreary room all day listening to "Narcissistic Cannibal" over and over probably close to 60 times, while contemplating my pathetic little microcosm that I incidentally fashioned for myself, and this lyrical tangent came out of my head: Enjoy.. or don't..

Don't want to live this life alone - Don't want to become a sad and soulless drone
I want to look back and just fucking laugh - Never have to relive this gargantuan fucking mess
I knew the whole time I was straying from the path - Fucked around and allowed my time to pass
Now all I have is this basket of regret...

The clouds that formed - Followed my course
This scenery reminds me of all that's been left behind
I have tried to push on through - And all I've got is all I've proved
Burdening me until the end of this life

I'm the pessimist that you all have locked away - Accidentally over extended my stay
No one gives a fuck if I live or die - It's like a high to sit in the dark and cry
I've surrendered all my bridges and levees - Allowed myself to give up on me
Now I play chess with a demon I haven't met...

The clouds that formed - Followed my course

This scenery reminds me of all that's been left behind

I have tried to push on through - And all I've got is all I've proved
Burdening me until the end of this life

Paint me a picture I can never even fathom - Thinking there's an option when in fact there isn't one
Growing old in the darkness I create - Dreary thoughts bringing on even gloomier days
What I would give for the love of a mother - What I'd do to talk once more to my father
The ending is nearing - my time disappearing

All I know how to do is act in wrath...
In a confusing world whose logic I couldn't grasp...

Now all I have is this basket of regret... (3x)

I'll never be what I wanted to be...
Allowing the demons to have the best of me!