Sepsis

I've stopped breathing

My time is fleeting

I've grown so weak

I can barely speak

I tried my best and I gave it all

But pride always goes first right first before the fall

So there's nothing more for me to believe

Torture inherently and deceitfully received

Time when pressed just causes distress

I'm turning off all the lights this time

Fuckin' blank canvas wishing to become nothing

It pushes back with each brushstroke wanting bad for me to choke

No hope and I'm done

Nothing left for you to do but face toward the sun and run

All I've done I've lived to regret

And this it

So how the fuck am I not dead yet?

Vomit-inducing as the sounds remind

I'm turning off all the fuckin' lights this time

No!

Nothing more for me--turn off the lights this time

Nothing more for me--turn off the lights this time

Nothing more for me--turn off the lights this time

Nothing more for me--turn off the lights this time

I've stopped breathing

My time is fleeting

I've grown so weak

I can barely speak

I tried my best and I gave it all

But I can't do it no more

Because I have nothing in store

The hour is late when you hear all the screaming

A blessing of sepsis to remove the demeaning

Why am I here?

It was never clear

Bet your fuckin' ass I'm turning off the lights this time

Fuckless

Yes, I'm that cunt that whines and whines
Bitches that she's fat before she even dines
Grew up sheltered by garbled nerves

Yes, I am prone to these fits of rage
Cursed before I even knew my age
Sleepless and clawing at the walls all night

I no longer give a fuck
I'm driving off the cliff
And I have no desire to say goodbye so fuck it

Yes, I'm that girl you avoid in school
And I am the result of obeying rules
And if I could do it over I'd just whine

Yes, I know there's no hope for me
And I don't care enough to beg or plead
I have no fucks left to give away

I no longer give a fuck
I'm driving off the cliff
And I have no desire to say goodbye so fuck it

I no longer give a fuck
I'm driving off the cliff
And I have no desire to say goodbye so fuck it

Fuckless

I no longer give a fuck
I'm driving off the cliff
And I have no desire to say goodbye so fuck it

I no longer give a fuck
I'm driving off the cliff
And I have no desire to say goodbye so fuck it

Fuckless

Purge

 To all I've known

I wish you well

I've let you down

I'm off to hell

 These unseemly thoughts

That fill my head

Let's drown them out

It'll stay this way

It's not a phase

These horrid visions

So palpable

To all I've known

I curse this spell

Escape the truth..escape the noose

A tear within a box of dreams

Leads to a life so beautiful

I've kept the hope and all it means

To lead a life so wonderful

A founded wish to watch it bleed

And wash away the terrible

 It's over now

No cause to wait

Everything is now disposable 

To this whole world

I wish you well

Can't change these facts

Or un-ring this bell

 These voices now

That fill my head

Let's drown them out

It's the way it is

Please not like this

Just take me home

I wanna go

To this whole world

It's all dispelled

I'm blaming you..blame all of you

A tear within a box of dreams

Leads to a life so beautiful

I've kept the hope and all it means

To lead a life so wonderful

A founded wish to watch it bleed

And wash away the terrible

 It's over now

No cause to wait

Everything is now disposable

I wish you well..I curse this spell

I wish you well..it's all dispelled

To all I've known

I wish you well

Please never show the cards you're dealt

This world so cruel and full of spite

I've drowned it out

I've begged for change

But it's too late

I've seen what's next

So palpable

To this whole world

Just go to hell

I'm purged of you..of all of you

A tear within a box of dreams

Leads to a life so beautiful

I've kept the hope and all it means

To lead a life so wonderful

A founded wish to watch it bleed

And wash away the terrible

 It's over now

No cause to wait

Everything is now disposable

To all so cursed and disposable

Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable

Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable

Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable
Know it's not you, it's me

Phoenix

Rising up
Out from these ashes
I've rid myself
Of all that's worthless

When I was there
It felt like nothing
Bring it all back
I wanna feel something
I don't even know
Why I was ever hiding
I no longer fear--I'll always remember

In the clouds
My head is swimming
Hold me down
I think I'm drifting

Desolate, empty and I'll never know
I never was nor will be shown
Gone just like after the wind has blown
You can't take away who I am now
There's nothing you can do about
Something for which I have no doubt

It always hurt more
Back when they deprived me
I'm still fuckin' here
You know you can't stop me
I'm taking what's mine
Whether or not you'll allow me
I no longer fear--I'll always remember

No need to ask
I know what my name is
No need to cry
I know that you're shameless
No need to act
I know that you're spineless
I no longer fear--I'll always remember

This is the end
This is the end
This is the end
The end of pretend..

It always hurt more
Back when they deprived me
I'm still fuckin' here
You know you can't stop me
I'm taking what's mine
Whether or not you'll allow me
I no longer fear--I'll always remember

No need to ask
I know what my name is
No need to cry
I know that you're shameless
No need to act
I know that you're spineless
I no longer fear--I'll always remember

I no longer fear--I'll always remember..

Cast Away

Do you hate the way it tastes?
Do you hate the way it feels?
Brought upon myself this time
Only the weakest minds resign

Hard to believe that I once cared
Barren of all but these lifeless stares
Burnt down, ashed up and then blown all away

I'd beg for mercy
But there's no one to give it away
I've squandered my time
Just to wind up here

Strayed
There's no time
There's nothing left
I need more
Time. Time. Time.

Sold my soul to uncover the facts
Regretted it quick and I begged for it back
A fool I am and always was in so many ways

This insidious spiral
I threw my chance away
It's spelt out right here
I've walked the plank

Strayed
There's no time
There's nothing left
I need more
Time. Time. Time.

Strayed
There's no time
There's nothing left
I need more
Time. Time. Time. Time.

I need more
Time. Time. Time.

(I've fallen)

Astray!
I'm out of time
They took what's left
I need more
Time. Time. Time. Time. Time

Time. Time. Time. Time. Time

Why?! Why?! Why?!