Showing posts with label deep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep. Show all posts

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Purge

 To all I've known
I wish you well
I've let you down
I'm off to hell
 These unseemly thoughts
That fill my head
Let's drown them out

It'll stay this way
It's not a phase
These horrid visions
So palpable

To all I've known
I curse this spell
Escape the truth..escape the noose

A tear within a box of dreams
Leads to a life so beautiful
I've kept the hope and all it means
To lead a life so wonderful
A founded wish to watch it bleed
And wash away the terrible
 It's over now
No cause to wait
Everything is now disposable 

To this whole world
I wish you well
Can't change these facts
Or un-ring this bell
 These voices now
That fill my head
Let's drown them out

It's the way it is
Please not like this
Just take me home
I wanna go

To this whole world
It's all dispelled
I'm blaming you..blame all of you

A tear within a box of dreams
Leads to a life so beautiful
I've kept the hope and all it means
To lead a life so wonderful
A founded wish to watch it bleed
And wash away the terrible
 It's over now
No cause to wait
Everything is now disposable

I wish you well..I curse this spell
I wish you well..it's all dispelled

To all I've known
I wish you well
Please never show the cards you're dealt
This world so cruel and full of spite
I've drowned it out

I've begged for change
But it's too late
I've seen what's next
So palpable

To this whole world
Just go to hell
I'm purged of you..of all of you

A tear within a box of dreams
Leads to a life so beautiful
I've kept the hope and all it means
To lead a life so wonderful
A founded wish to watch it bleed
And wash away the terrible
 It's over now
No cause to wait
Everything is now disposable

To all so cursed and disposable
Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable
Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable
Please take your leave of me

To all so cursed and disposable
Know it's not you, it's me

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

When Alone

It's only in the dark I see
Shine your light away from me
I keep trying to pray off my disease
I wait in silence and God won't speak
This empty old room, dusty, desolate and cold...

Only when alone, only when I feel ashamed
Only when alone, only when my temper's tamed

Just hold me close and let it be
Exhale your breath all over me
The darkest nights and bloody fights
Always wrong and never right
We beat the odds just one more time
Eating the leftover dust and grime

Only when alone, only when I can see the end
Only when alone, only when my wounds can mend

I paint my face in colors dark
Hiding the truth from all of you
The man I was, no doubt has died
The devil always lets his victims cry
Mountains crumbling, the sky then falls
A pretty ending after all

Only when alone, only when the people crowd
Only when alone, only when I scream aloud
Only when alone, only when I hear that sound...

Only when I'm alone, only when the meaning's found








Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Passing Way

Inherent to what I hate in you
The scarring sun, it has me spun

I am disgraced to what I am
And I'm disgraced at what's to come

There's no where left to run
One bullet in this gun
We beg, we cry, we scream his name
The silence never goes away

And I am disgraced by all I've done
And I'm so disgraced, that I can't turn back

I try but can't prevail, they hate me
Close minds, unopened arms surround

I can't hide

I feel disgraced, the mirror haunts
I feel disgraced, no love out there for me

Friday, April 6, 2012

We Are All Alone

We are all alone..we are all alone
This world you think you know
Keeps its curtain low
If you pretend you understand
The entity will set demands

We are all alone..we are all alone
You've never been that wise
You've never been despised
The truth that hurts so bad
Is the only medicine they had

We are all alone..

I'm a soulless drone..I'm a soulless drone
No need here for a phone
I've always been alone
If you take a peek inside
You'll see everything disliked

There is no such thing as love
No, there's no such thing as love
Heaven up above..a lie, a cover-up
The pain that heals the real
Has always been out to cheat and steal

Your destiny awaits..your destiny awaits
Have and eat your cake
Solace on the lake
The enemies of state will never unlearn their hate
 

You are all alone
I am all alone
We are all alone

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Square of Despair: The Chronicles (Issue #1)

"Catch me if you can, Stevie!" Nicole screamed as she headed further out of site, deep into the depths of the wide open yard of the family ranch home.

The children had been playing all day on their parent's ranch in Northern Arizona. The sun was setting over the mountain tops as the young Stevie scrambled after his younger sister Nicole. The sky was a light pink and visibility amongst the ranch property was dimming. A curl of smoke rose from the chimney of the two story home as dinner was preparing on the stove top for the family of four. The children's parents from inside could hear the children playing tag as dinner cooked on the wood burning stove. The children's mother Janice slipped on her shoes to go outside and call for the children.

"Stevie! Nicole! Come on in now, children!" She walked the length of the porch with her right hand peeled out across the top of her eyes as she attempted to better see the innocent children running around the yard. She walked back and forth, squinting, trying to spot the children, but all she could see is a large empty landscape with light pink skies.

She ran back inside to see her husband sitting in his favorite leather arm chair reading through last night's newspaper and shouted, "Bill, I can't find the children. I heard them earlier, but now they're out of sight and I don't hear a peep outside!"

After rolling his eyes and taking one last toke of his wooden pipe, the middle-aged heavy set fellow in blue suspenders and a red tie and white shirt with black stripes got up and eased his way toward the kitchen making his way to the back door. He flipped the switch for the outside light and opened the inner door, peering through the screen door. His eyes motioned back and forth across the darkening, quiet landscape before him.

His wife, standing behind him, her arms braced on his back spoke.
"Bill, do you hear anything?"

Bill didn't answer, still focusing on the dead silence coming from outside. Janice asked again. "Bill do-"

"Shhh. Janice, I'm listen-" Suddenly, there was the sound of brush swaying to and fro. A perimeter of thin trees and brush make up the outskirts of their extended ranch home, though there was no wind to be had. They both knew that something out there, in the dark, on their very property was more likely the cause of the disturbance they just heard.

Bill turns his head in shock and looks Janice in the eye.

"Run inside and grab the largest flashlight we have; and a baseball bat from the front closet!"

Janice reacted fear, breathing heavy but followed her husbands orders, rushing inside for the needed items.
While waiting for his wife's return, he peeled his eyes, scoping the yard repeatedly left to right, left to right with nothing showing itself no matter how hard his efforts.

"Stevie! Nicole! Get back here now, or face the consequences! Lord knows you know better than to disobey your father! Now get back here!" Not a sound but the echo of his angry and desperate words followed his plea. He could hear the approaching foot steps of his frantic wife nearing the back door. Her hands full, she kicked the screen door open and handed off the items to her husband in a haste.

"Here, Bill. I've got the light and the slugger. Can I please go with you?"

He looked back at his wife. "Nah, Janice. You stay here in case those brats decide to return. I'll be back soon enough. Just keep an eye on things here."

Bill switched on the light and kept it aimed straight ahead with his left hand, the bat over his right shoulder. The further he got from the house, the darker the wide open spaces became. The house behind him grew smaller and smaller as he pressed forward. As silent as a mortuary at midnight, the land around him consumed the night. With no sign of any movement in the distance, he called hysterically for his children.
"Stevie! Nicole! Come out right now! Your fun and games are over! I mean it!"

He pressed on, swaying left, swaying right with his eyes peeled at all times. Prepared for any signs of movement or children's laughter. But aside from the occasional cool breeze in the desert landscape, there was not a peep to be heard.

Meanwhile back at their home, itself surrounded by nothing but dirt, rocks, and cactus the children's mother stood frozen at the back door, worried sick over the welfare of her children and husband, whose whereabouts she can only prey were alive and well. Dinner remained on the stove top, in danger of overcooking at this point. Distracted by the sudden disappearance of her children and now husband, turning down the heat on her stove must of slipped her poor, worried little brain.

Much deeper in the woods now, Bill growing more angry by the second continued his search deep into the middle of nowhere; the surrounding mountains growing larger and larger with the decreasing distance between himself and them. Not expecting to hear a peep from as much as a snake or lizard prowling the ground beneath him, the shuffling of little feet sounded off in the distance. Bill stopped frozen in his tracks, attempting to zero in on the direction from once it came. He turned his head left, and turned his head right, shining the flash light slowly across the entire area around him. Unsure of what to do, he held his ground, ducked down low, hoping to hear it again. A few minutes go by, but there is nothing.

Then suddenly, when least expected, the same shuffling of children's feet sounded as though it were running right beside him. Bill reacted almost immediately, shining the flashlight just beside him, but no one in sight, no foot prints imprinted in the ground justifying the noise in anyway. Bill was frozen with fear.

Back at the house, Janice continued to shout for her husband and children, with no hope for a response. With all the silence, she suddenly able to hear the boiling pot of stew on the stove top, and rushed in to tend to it. "Bloody hell," she yelled as she paced her way toward the stove. In her haste, she snagged her long white dress with her flat dress shoe, and slipped backwards, the pot in hand. In a matter of a second, she was sprawled out on the floor of her kitchen, covered with boiling beef stew, screaming in agony. Helpless to do anything about it. Her screams of agony slowly turned to agonizing soft moans as her flesh peeled away from her face, neck and upper torso.

Unaware of the events that conspired back at his family's home, this father, now more determined than ever decided to cover all the surrounding land he never dared venture out to before, screaming louder and louder for his children the entire way. Once again, he is able to hear tiny footsteps only paces ahead of him on the other side of a patch of brush at the base of the nearest hill in the dead lands. He rushed over, flash light in one hand, bat braced in the other. Using the bat to make his way through the brush, he found nothing. A look of serious frustration now took over his face.

"I've had more than enough of this! You two are such deep trouble when I get you home. This is YOUR LAST CHANCE, or you can spend the night out here, I really don't care anymore. I'm going to count to three, and if you two don't show yourselves, you'll know what wild life is really like. ONE TWO.."

And just as he said two, Bill heard a child's laughter and more shuffling just up ahead coming from behind some brush and trees trailing up the mountain side. He held his silence, awaiting further noise to help explain what he may of heard, but no other noise seemed to emerge. Fed up with all he's been through this evening he decided to barge his way towards where the noise came from, but what he saw, he could of never braced himself for...

The Real Self Inflicted Wound

Light breaks through, screams at me, begs for me to bleed and bleed
Pathways jammed with all my shit, I plead the lord to just let me quit
There is no way that a new day free of despair waits for me
They all beg for me to stay where it rains, where I'll drown and sink away

These feelings drown my soul, tighten my nerves, nothing left to do but squirm and squirm
Embarrassed through existence, covered it all my own shit and piss
I accept the blame, it was my game, it's all my fault everythings stayed the same
They all scream, whatever it means, the end is close but can never be seen

But help me understand, this punishment has has diminished my soul
So please help me understand - Where does it end?

The cruelty is real, the anger I feel, the rage inside with no place to hide
Crawl in my skin, the enemy wins, then comes back to throw again
Been trying to grow, trying to cleanse, make my amends, but
The place where my thoughts, grow into more, has been compromised by leeching whores

I throw myself away, for never another day will I somehow rise above these barnyard flies
Though to do so I'd be willing to pay any price
I carry with me this energy, it can be used for health or used for pain
And I always choose to loose  and dream away my precious days in shit!

This punishment I agreed to has crushed my fucking soul
I want out so tell me please - Where does it end?












Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Antipathy

I have searched all over, but there was nothing left to find
I have begged and pleaded for mercy, but mommy dearest just spit in my eyes
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Someone help me reverse this before I dive off the fuckin' edge!
Stop this! Kill this! End this! Fuck this!

I slither right between your legs
I wrap around your neck and watch you suffocate
My loneliness has become my bliss
There's no need to try anymore
All the damage has been done
Stop this! Kill this! End this! Fuck this!
We're all apart of someone else's nightmare
I've been drawn a role and so have you
When it ends, we will all be denied our final bows
Uncredited, the audience couldn't give a shit less who we are or were

The world is such an ugly place to start a life
The world is such a putrid place, full of lies
The planet earth cannot see what we've done
It's blind and waiting death...

Stop this! Kill this! End this! Fuck this!
SHIT OUT OF LUCK!
We're all apart of someone else's nightmare
I've been drawn a role and so have you
When it ends, we will all be denied our final bows
Uncredited, the audience couldn't give a shit less who we are or were