The semester has concluded. I was pleased to see that my final grades have
drastically improved from last year. bringing up my GPA drastically. It is also
nice to see that I am finally over the hump in terms of getting my degree. I'm
now just under 54% done with my associates, and my counselor said that I can go
for my bachelors if I choose, which I honestly wanted to do all along, but was
never brought up as an option before. So, I definitely will take advantage of
that. It is in fact what I wanted all along and I am excited to find out now
that I can actually achieve this goal.
It is nice to see how proud everyone in my life is and how much more faith
everyone seems to have in me these days. Friends old and new continue to show
so much support, including people I haven't spoken to in years who I never
expected to speak to again. More importantly, feeling proud of myself for the
first time in years, feeling good about the things I am doing, and to have this
self-confidence back that I have been lacking for so long is all too amazing.
I finally got around to taking a picture of Rocky and Forrest. They are
doing a lot better, but they are still very easily spooked and uneasy around
people, my mom and stepdad included. I can only imagine what those poor dogs
have been through. The shelter said they're each only about a year old, but
they look older, especially when you judge by their teeth. Either way, they are
adorable and I hope they begin to feel more comfortable soon.
There is one other thing I need to say in this post that will eat away at me
if I don't. There's someone out there who means a lot to me, who I--yes, love,
who I haven't written about in months. I told this person that I wouldn't be a
stranger, and for about 2 months now, I have been just that--a stranger. I feel
bad about it, but on the other hand I wonder if it even makes a difference to
this person anymore. They may of shrugged it off and moved on at this point for
all I know. However, even with all I have going on and how much better I am
doing, I continue to think about this person everyday. If they are by any
chance reading this, and if they are actually disappointed that I haven't spoken
to them, I want to apologize for being a stranger. When I said I wouldn't be a
stranger, I meant it. I had every intention of keeping in touch.
The problem is, even with school, work, old friends, new friends, parties,
family and occasional dating to distract me, I still love you. I still miss
you. To this day, driving past the Saint Lucie Draft House evokes feelings I
wish would just go away. So, I am sorry for being a stranger. It's not how I
want it, believe me. I miss our weird conversations too. But, I also miss the
laughs, I miss the fun, I miss the weekends, the road trips, the meals, the
cooking, the snuggling, the cuddling, the kisses, the EVERYTHING. I want to
talk to you so bad--to see you so bad, and wish quite often that you'd reach out
with a text or call, or even just show up here. I know it's not going to happen
though. What we had together is over and mending that is not up to me no matter
how much I may still want it. The fact is, no matter how many women I talk to,
hang out with or casually date, I continue to wish they were you.
Here are pictures of my current college stats and a picture of Rocky and
Forrest
😀
