Haunting Past

There are so many memories I wish I could just erase from my mind, that I can't imagine having to carry around and remember for the rest of my life, that I don't want to spend my final hours recalling and dwelling on. It pains me. The shame, the embarrassment, the regret, the sorrow. What the fuck is wrong with me? The horrible decisions I have made that I cannot understand for the fucking life of me today what my fucking thought process was that allowed me to make them in the first place. I sit here alone in this fucking room and reflect, unable to get these thoughts out of my head, unable to escape them. I just continue to torture myself, and I see no end in sight.