My first day at Coastal Flooring went really well, and I proved myself worthy. I was feeling happy and proud as I clocked out and drove home, but as soon as I walked in the door of my moldy, stuffy and decrepit house the feeling of sadness immediately washed over me. The feeling of being alone washed over me. The feeling of having no one to hold and cuddle with washed over me. All I can think about is Jenn, and all I feel is the void that of not being with her. I went from feeling proud, accomplished and hopeful to feeling helpless, hopeless, sad and alone. I love her so much. I swear on everything holy that I am going to keep this job, that I am going to be good at it, that I'm not going to quit, and that I will not frivolously blow my money. I mean it in every sense possible that I have changed my ways, and that I am not going to fall back into the same tired old habits again. I wish she believed me now. This hurts so much. I don't know what to do with myself. I have no desire to watch television, I can't concentrate on reading right now, I'm a little exhausted for a bike ride at the moment..all I want is Jenn. She is absolutely all I want in this world.
Jenn, please believe me when I say that I will never let you down again. I have changed, I swear I have. I won't leave this job. If we get back together, I will never require another chance again. I am going to go to work everyday and I am going to like it. I am going to make money, and show you that I can be trusted and dependable. I am going to prove to you that I can be your Prince. Oh, God I miss you so much. This is killing me. It hurts so fucking much, I can't even tell you. I never want to feel this way again. I want to feel you in my arms so bad right now. I swear that I will never let you down or disappoint you again.
Time to go wipe away the tears and figure out some sort of distraction.
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