I get it

I knew it on that dark night

The second your face lit up from the dome light

A girl who had all her ducks in a row

About to meet the epitome of everything that's wrong

When the world let me in, I had the best intentions

When the world gave me life and ability I oppressed it

I chose to take my brain cells and use 'em for SHIIIIIIIIIT!

Use them for shit

I knew it on that dark night

When again your face lit up in the sports bar lights

A girl happy, content with nothing but smarts that shined bright

Buying fucking beers for a sack of human garbage

When the world let me in, I had the best of intentions

To change the world, take all the pain and erase it

But instead I learned about drugs and decided 'fuck it'

I used up my motivation, inspiration, dedication and submerged it in SHIIIIIIIIT!

In shiiiiit!

Yeah, I am in love with a girl who's smarter than me and

I would give anything for this amazing girl who's out of my league and

I'd give anything to one day make this girl proud of me and

Oh, won't that day ever fucking come?

I knew it on that dark night

The second your face lit up from the dome light

A girl who had all her ducks in a row

About to meet the epitome of everything that's wrong

Oh, I knew it on that dark night

When again your face lit up in the sports bar lights

A girl happy, content with nothing but with such smarts that shine bright

Buying fucking beers for a man who has nothing but dreams for more than something

Believe me, please!

Believe me, please! Yeah, baby please!

Believe me, baby, believe me, baby!

Please, please please!

Yes!

Please, please please...

I knew it on that dark night

The second your face lit up from the dome light

A girl who had all her ducks in a row

About to meet the epitome of everything that's wrong

I knew it on that dark night

Your face dimmed by the dark against the domelight

Your scent welcoming with your eyes so dazzling

I knew I had to have you.

And I get it. I get it.

Some say I'm not the best one,

Some say I'm the worst one

For me you are the only one

And I have not given up

I love you, baby

Writting through falling and sobbing tears

You picked me up, and showed me around a world, a place I'd later learn was foul

Now you're nowhere to be found

A hole so far deep and filled 

In these days I feel I need you most

You just rot and decay

You left me here to stay

And these feelings won't go away!

Now I know what to expect in these changing times

Stuck here without a paddle navigating blind 

Wish so badly you were still here to see

To at least take some of the pressure off of me

The place I was born is only getting worse

And like a child I wish I had your hand to hold

What's done cannot be undone

Just suck it up and move the fuck on

You were there to show me a side so innocent, so fun, full of joy, but now

Now you're nowhere to be found

Buried in a hole 2,500 miles away

And in these days I feel most afraid

You just rot and decay

You left me here to stay

These awful feelings refuse to go away!

Now I know what to expect in these changing times

Stuck here without a paddle navigating blind 

Wish so badly you were still here to see

To at least take some of the pressure off of me

The place I was born is only getting worse

And like a child I wish I had your hand to hold

What's done cannot be undone

Just suck it up and move the fuck on

As I ponder my own life, what is it I want from this?

Can any good ever come from this?

As I try and find my place in space, will an answer ever come?

Or are the best days over and done?

Now I know what to expect in these changing times

Stuck here without a paddle navigating blind 

Wish so badly you were still here to see

To at least take some of the pressure off of me

The place I was born is only getting worse

And like a child I wish I had your hand to hold

What's done cannot be undone

Just suck it up and move the fuck on

Growing Strains

A piece of the puzzle found soggy and wet
My body is lacking in iron, the world has gone black
I found my desires, or did they find me?
To find another way, a reason to stay

To just run away..
Running away just to come right back

Am I the only one?!
That can see it for all it is
With blood that's boiling, as my teeth sink in
Am I the only one?!
That sees this exhibit
For all that it is, a pile of human shit!

Am I the only one?!

Locked in my closet, are old memories
Locked in my own skull, endless disabilities
I found out my future, or did it find me?
More confusion and no reason to stay

Just to run away..
Running away just to come right back

Am I..Am I..Am I..Am I..Am I..Am I

Am I the only one?!
Who can see through the trees
With the blood that's boiling, and grinding teeth
Am I the only one?!
That sees this mess
All fucked up, just like the rest!

Running away just to run right back
Running away just to run right back
Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!

Dream on, in your blissful sleeps
In a world of wonder awaits you there
Dream on, feed the hopes
Piled right over the reality that awaits you here

Dream on, sleep on, dream on, sleep on, dream on, sleep on,
Dream on, sleep on!!!!

Just once..

Just once, I would like to have an actual good day at work.

Just once, I would like something to work out the way I planned.

Just once, I would like to feel like the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.

Just once, I would like to feel like everything is okay.