I have been up since 2:30am. It silence is deafening. The anxiety is maddening. The phone hasn't rung. No messages have been received. Somehow I don't think I'm going to be hearing from her again. I think I have disappointed her for the last time despite how hard I was trying to do just the opposite. I'm crawling in my skin in the worst way wishing I could fix this right fucking now. I am better than this. This is not who I am. It's not fair. I have been trying so hard.
Thank you, Nick Elliott for helping to nudge the one valuable part of my life that I had left over the fucking cliff.
I love you, Jenn. I miss you so much.
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