The Pit

Holding my breath and my face is turning blue

Better to die alone than die here next to you

Vision's becoming blurred and fogged

At least I can't focus on all the bad I've done

In a world so disheveled, without a single answer

Take me back from whence I came!

I see what's not

And I know the not

Swallowed up by a lifetime of lies

Now these days I never dream

Bothered by what all this means

Addicted and yearning for all I despise

Stuck in this pit I scream and I squirm

Waiting for the gas to spark and to burn

Disillusioned and miserable, aren't we all?

Only I'm not afraid to show my feelings anymore

Throat is closing up and airway is clogged

Unable to confess to all the horrible shit I've done 

In a world so disheveled, without a single answer

Take me back from whence I came!

I see what's not

And I know the not

Swallowed up by a lifetime of lies

Now these days I never dream

Bothered by what all this means

Addicted and yearning for all I despise

Stuck in this pit I scream and I squirm

Waiting for the gas to spark and to burn

I see what's not

And I know the not

Swallowed up by a lifetime of lies

Now these days I never dream

Bothered by what all this means

Addicted and yearning for all I despise

Stuck in this pit I scream and I squirm

Waiting for the gas to spark and to burn

 

Dear World that is Trying to Break My Spirit

Congratulations. You've won. Yes, you are reading that right. You've officially broken my fragile fucking spirit. I basically don't give a good god damn about much of anything anymore. I busted my ass applying for jobs for 9 months. I busted my ass through the temp agency's bullshit drawn-out application and hiring processes, I busted my ass through the incoherent training that I received, and of course I busted my ass for the past 2 weeks to do everything right with this job. And what do I have to show for it?  Ongoing scrutiny from management as they nitpick their way through the most petty of bullshit via continuous emails that make me want to get up and walk out of here. And then they give us this "final exam" 3 weeks in, rather than at the end of the first week which would've actually made sense (god forbid). And then the fucking evil cunt that runs this strip mall call center does even more nitpicking as she grades my exam, doing everything she can to not give me a passing grade, doing everything she can to break my spirit and reiterate my position in this call center and in this world. A passing grade is at least an 80% and she made sure that I got a 79. She took half points off on two open ended questions where my answers were correct, but apparently not what she was looking for and marked me off on several other questions that were horribly worded unclear and ridiculously petty to begin with. An example of one: "Why would someone want to enroll in a health plan?" Again, my answer was correct, but not the ONE answer she was looking for.

I am forever doomed to stay with my servant status in this horribly damaged world where the American dream has become a pipe dream. You either have to create the next app for the braindead populous or win the lottery to make it in the world I've inherited. And I get to take this stupid fucking exam again next week and pass it if I want to continue making my fancy 10 dollars an hour.

Fuck this world. Fuck Maximus. And fuck their stupid test. All I ever get for my hard work is disappointment. I give up.